I've started Speech Therapy, and it's Amazing
I talk way too fast. Always have. But not anymore!
When people struggle to follow me, my brain’s solution? Talk even faster and throw in more synonyms. Brilliant, right? It’s a vicious circle. A few months ago I decided to start speech therapy, and it has opened my eyes!
Why Speech Theray?
I’ve been talking too fast for a long time, at least since my teenage years.
Perhaps contradictingly, I really admire people that can speak well. As a student, I’ve been exposed to significantly to the art of Rhetorica through by fraternity. Being able to argue clearly, concisely, with humour, while playing with tempo and choice of words, it can be beautiful. And I’m truly grateful for the people around me that showcased these skills. Some of you have even helped me to hone mine.
Nonetheless, every-day conversation is different from giving a presentation, a speech, an oration and a peroration. I have found myself giving crystal clear speeches on the radio, on podcasts and even on televsion on several special occassions. Getting up on stage is fine, and I have really been enjoying those moments over the last years. Afterwards, when the formaulity is over, when I am not sure what I am talking about, tired or emotional, I switch back right back to mumbling, juggling and cluttering.
2 years ago, I both became a parent and took up the next step in my carreer. Since then, I have started to appreciate more and more the value of speaking clearly also in informal settings. I want to be a good example for my daughter, and I do not want her to go through the struggle that I had to endure. I also want to progress in my carreer, and I know that will require more and more soft skills. So I stepped it up and started following speech therapy. And I love it.
I Clutter!
As it turns out, I don’t particularly stutter, I just speak to fast which causes me to clutter. Rather than paying less attention and relax more while speaking, I should pay more attention and actively look for signals in order to gauge the pace of my speech.
Actually, it is disorder we are only recently starting to understand better. Whereas before we would classify people very quickly as stutterers, we are now more and more clearly seeing a distinction in symptoms between a stutterer and a clutterer. The same for the treatment. Stuttering exercises do nothing for clutterers, and vica versa.
To quickly jump into the details, see also the diagram below. We go from abstract thinking, to formulating sentences, to using our speech apparatus to produce speech. While we are speaking, we are actively collecting feedback on our speaking from the environment. Also about speakig pace. The problem with clutterers is that they are not properly able to factor in feedback about their speaking pace. They believe they are speaking at a moderate speed, while in reality they might speak at 2x or 3x the average speaking pace. It can be hard to imagine, but really trust me on this one. When I speak I have sometimes are not aware at all that I speak so fast. I just am passionate, or emotional, or in a hurry, or simply used to the way of speaking at the speed of thought.
As such, clutterers should pay more attention to their surroundings and actively lower their pace of speech. They should not be afraid to take up the space by speaking, and realize that they even might need less speaking time if they manage to get their story across in one well-defined, easy-to-listen-to sentence. Rather than 5 sentences that integrate like spaghetti.
So, I’m listening and analysing my speaking pace. I’m telling people that I’m doing speech therapy. I’m writing this blog, and I am feeling more self-empowered every week. There is still a lot to learn, but when I compare my progress with when I just started in September, it feels like those small steps are starting to compound.
At the same time, I’m also grateful for everybody who put in the energy to keep on listening to me no matter how fast I would speak, those that have told me to speak slower (to whom I would not listen), those that have supported me in the past and those that are actively supporting me nowadays (you know who you are).
Happy days. Let’s go! :)