I've started Speech Therapy, and it's Amazing
I talk way too fast. Always have. But not anymore!
When people struggle to follow me, my brain’s solution? Talk even faster and throw in more synonyms. Brilliant, right? It’s a vicious circle. A few months ago I decided to start speech therapy, and it has opened my eyes!
Why Speech Therapy?
I’ve been talking too fast for a long time, at least since my teenage years.
Perhaps contradictorily, I really admire people who can speak well. As a student, I’ve been exposed significantly to the art of Rhetorica through my fraternity. Being able to argue clearly, concisely, with humour, while playing with tempo and choice of words, it can be beautiful. And I’m truly grateful for the people around me who showcased these skills. Some of you have even helped me to hone mine.
Nonetheless, everyday conversation is different from giving a presentation, a speech, an oration and a peroration. I have found myself giving crystal clear speeches on the radio, on podcasts and even on television on several special occasions. Getting up on stage is fine, and I have really been enjoying those moments over the last years. Afterwards, when the formality is over, when I am not sure what I am talking about, tired or emotional, I switch right back to mumbling, juggling and cluttering.
2 years ago, I both became a parent and took up the next step in my career. Since then, I have started to appreciate more and more the value of speaking clearly also in informal settings. I want to be a good example for my daughter, and I do not want her to go through the struggle that I had to endure. I also want to progress in my career, and I know that will require more and more soft skills. So I stepped it up and started following speech therapy. And I love it.
I Clutter!
As it turns out, I don’t particularly stutter, I just speak too fast which causes me to clutter. Rather than paying less attention and relaxing more while speaking, I should pay more attention and actively look for signals in order to gauge the pace of my speech.
Actually, it is a disorder we are only recently starting to understand better. Whereas before we would classify people very quickly as stutterers, we are now more and more clearly seeing a distinction in symptoms between a stutterer and a clutterer. The same goes for the treatment. Stuttering exercises do nothing for clutterers, and vice versa.
We go from abstract thinking, to formulating sentences, to using our speech apparatus to produce speech. While we are speaking, we are actively collecting feedback on our speaking from the environment. Also about speaking pace. The problem with clutterers is that they are not properly able to factor in feedback about their speaking pace. They believe they are speaking at a moderate speed, while in reality they might speak at 2x or 3x the average speaking pace.
Same for me. When I speak I am sometimes not aware at all that I speak so fast. I just am passionate, or emotional, or in a hurry, or not really paying attention, or simply used to speaking at that particular speed.
As such, clutterers should pay more attention to their surroundings and actively lower their pace of speech. They should not be afraid to take up the space by speaking, and realize that they even might need less speaking time if they manage to get their story across in one well-defined, easy-to-listen-to sentence. Rather than 5 sentences that integrate like spaghetti.
So, I’m listening and analyzing my speaking pace. I’m telling people that I’m doing speech therapy. I’m writing this blog, and I am feeling more in control of my speaking pace every week. There is still a lot to learn, but when I compare my progress to when I just started in September, it feels like those small steps are starting to compound.
At the same time, I’m also grateful for everybody who put in the energy to keep on listening to me no matter how fast I would speak, those that have told me to speak slower (to whom I would not listen), those that have supported me in the past and those that are actively supporting me nowadays (you know who you are).
Happy days. Let’s go! :)